As of six months ago, I wouldn't have guessed or even thought for a second that I would be living in Costa Rica right now. I suppose it could be fate, or the higher power, that brought me here. Lately, I've been feeling somewhat lucky in the fact that I was kind of pushed here...but on the flip side, I'm realizing that it was all meant to be. Whatever it was that made "this" happen was supposed to happen, and it has taken some time to accept it. Five months ago, I didn't feel so lucky - everything in my life blew up like a bomb (or that's how I felt). That's why I wouldn't say I am necessarily "lucky", though I certainly am grateful that my life has completely changed (for the better). Having said that, I felt like I was going through a mid-life crises - but I suppose it could also be that I'm experiencing my Saturn Return seeing as though I'm about to turn twenty-nine years old. Change is hard and it's difficult for me to talk about this because it's still very fresh. Nonetheless, I feel this is the best time to share my experience, feelings and thoughts with others so that it will empower others to listen to their gut, their individual consciousness, or True Self.
It all started with this feeling inside that wouldn't go away - I would say, for about a year or so. I didn't know what it was, or how to listen to it. I just kept plugging away, pushing the feeling aside, and pushing everything I thought was right along; letting life get ahead of me - fast and in full force. I've never been the type to ignore my problems or thoughts, but for some reason, this one strange feeling I had in my gut was trying to tell me that something is not right. My first instinct was to keep pushing, keep going with it - what I thought was the right thing in my mind. Come to think of it, my mind was running my entire life; my individual consciousness had no chance. I've always been a strong-willed, driven individual who doesn't give up on anything I set my mind to. My mind was telling me to listen to it, my gut was telling me to listen to this feeling that wouldn't go away. Instead of trying to figure out what my gut was trying to tell me, I just kept listening to my mind. In contrast, I knew I wasn't happy with my job, I knew my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was getting more intense too quickly - I knew inside that I needed to make a change - I just didn't know how. Again, I just kept listening to my mind, telling me to keep going with it, until the time comes - "time will tell" is what I always told myself. Or "just wait until I can't take anymore" is what my mind kept telling me.
Well, thankfully, as I've mentioned, the higher power suddenly opened up the world to me. Everything I had and planned for, was dropped. My life completely changed - I had endless possibilities. What was I going to do? Well, I decided to go on a solo yoga retreat (for the first time in my life). Best decision I could've made, and I made it fast, without hesitation. Costa Rica was the first place I looked and apparently it was all meant to be. Why is that? Because after the yoga retreat, I decided it was finally time to follow my true passion for yoga. I dodged the bullet and booked a 200-hour yoga teacher training course in Costa Rica (different part of Costa Rica than the retreat). I already couldn't wait to go back, I just wanted to be there already. Three weeks later, I'm back in Costa Rica, meeting a whole new group of girlfriends from around the globe. I had already met so many amazing women (mostly all Canadians - shout out to all my #happyhumanhealthy ladies!) on the retreat, and then had the opportunity to go through teacher training with seventeen outstanding women of all age groups from various countries for three weeks. I loved every second of it and could go on and on about my teacher training experience, but that's for another time and post.
It's weird because as soon as I got back home from teacher training, I got this feeling in my gut that I needed to leave again. I knew I didn't want to be back in DC, I knew it wasn't the right place for me. Maybe it's because I was scared of that other feeling I had in my gut originally trying to tell me something. Was it that? Was it that I truly wasn't happy in DC and needed to make a change in my life? It had to of been, right? Next thing I know, I'm booking a trip back to Costa Rica to volunteer and teach yoga at a yoga retreat center. I couldn't believe it, this was the third time going back to Costa Rica within three months. Was it too much? Nope, I knew it was the right thing...it's what my gut was trying to tell me all along. Get out, go...live your life.
The only reason I'm sharing this personal experience, is because I am grateful for the practice and teachings of yoga in helping me figure out how to live my life moving forward. For me, at this time in my life, it's about getting closer to my True Self. I've always known this about yoga, that yoga can help you connect more inward. Moreover, I posted the following quote on my personal Instagram about a year ago (which I still admire), "The true purpose of yoga is to discover that aspect of your being that can never be lost." Perhaps I was trying to find that aspect of myself, perhaps my gut was trying to tell me that I needed to try harder. Because in the end, I now realize that that aspect wasn't happy after-all - that I wasn't happy.
I hope that every being, every body, can figure out how to fully live their lives every single day - what can you get out of this life, this body, right now? I hope it's partially to get closer to that true aspect, individual consciousness, True Self. If that bomb didn't exploded in my life, if I didn't have that experience, I'm not sure where I would be in terms of mindfulness. I just know that I'm "lucky" to have not gotten any further away from my True Self. I'm grateful that I now know how to atleast listen to my individual consciousness, with the tools and practices I've learned through yoga, and hope to continue to learn throughout the rest of my life in this body.
I hope you don't get the impression that a bomb needs to explode in your life in order for a change to occur - that is the complete opposite of what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to inspire others to understand the importance of mindfulness and how impactful it is on your life. A quote from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali really hits home with this, "Many people are afraid of knowing what their problems are. They just want to swallow a pill and forget everything. Instead, they wake up with several new problems." Taking five minutes out of your day to connect inward can make a huge impact in getting closer to your individual consciousness, for that is where the mind cannot go. Don't let the hamster keep spinning that energy wheel/third-eye chakra without knowing how to stop it, by controlling the psychic mind. The mind is a powerful thing, and I've learned from personal experience, that it can be dangerous. I've learned that it's very important to understand and know where you are in your body with each of your energy chakras to live a more balanced life-style. The following link (free chakra test) will help you understand where you are each and every day with your chakras in order to consciously know where to send more energy to: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest. If you don't know what a chakra is, here's a helpful link with a short summary: http://www.chakras.info/what-is-chakra/.
I hope this motivates you to want to learn more about yourself every single day, because you're truly the only one that can make yourself happy. Whether it be through meditation or yoga, make it a priority every single day to get closer to your True Self. If there's something in your gut trying to tell you something, don't wait to listen to it. Your mind is not the only part of your being - if you can connect your mind with your body, your body with your mind, by sending balancing energy throughout each chakra with breath or movement - this will be life-changing in itself. Don't waste any more time. "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" - Buddha.
